


the music is drowning out all of these unsaid confessions so why won't you kiss me and drag them out of my mouth

by ffslynch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5 + 1, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Kageyama Miwa is a little shit, Pretty girl Alisa, Punk!Miwa, Sarcasm as a Love Language, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, the author is unsure of how the train/tube system works in Tokyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffslynch/pseuds/ffslynch
Summary: 5 times Alisa and Miwa indirectly confess to each other, and one time they actually do it.
Relationships: Haiba Alisa/Kageyama Miwa
Kudos: 5
Collections: Haikyuu WLW Bang





	the music is drowning out all of these unsaid confessions so why won't you kiss me and drag them out of my mouth

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the Haikyuu WLW Big Bang, and has [a stunning piece of art to match](https://twitter.com/almondmisery/status/1369746165026099203), made by the wonderful [Almond](https://twitter.com/almondmisery)! Please check out their work!

_ Saw your face, heard your name, gotta get with you _

_ Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new _

Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

When Alisa first debuted into the pop music industry, most of the headlines called her ‘remarkable’ and said that she stood out from the rest of the singers and artists that were making their ways into the spotlight for the first time that year. In some ways, it had been exciting to be the centre and focus of such praise. In other ways, it hadn’t been a new feeling at all. Truth be told, Alisa always stood out from the rest of her peers, wherever she was. It was a simple fact. She was half Japanese in a Russian kindergarten, and then half Russian in a Japanese middle school. She was the tallest among her friends and the only blonde one. She could sing and dance, and she was destined for greatness away from the academic world that was so socially praised, but for the entertainment world that was highly consumed but definitely not as appreciated.

She was the one whose eyes lingered on other girls' smiles when all her friends were gushing about team captains. 

Alisa always stood out. And now, here she was, hanging almost a head taller than all of the makeup artists and other musicians that had been invited to take part in the Woman Big Bang magazine cover of December. The edition was themed around girl power in the music world, and so plenty of female artists that had achieved significant numbers in the charts that year had been invited. 

Shortly after Alisa had arrived in the shoot, she had been guided to the makeup station set up near the set for pictures and interviews. The set was filled with other female music artists, some of which Alisa recognized from previous encounters such as Yachi and Shimizu, from the bands Fly High and The Third Crow from Karasuno Music. Sadly for Alisa, no one from Nekoma Records was there. Akane had just recently debuted, and there were not many other female singers signed under them, which was a pity. It made events like these a bit lonely, but then again, she was more or less used to being alone. 

There was another band, GRLZ, also from Karasuno music, sharing the same station for hair and makeup as her. Alisa offered them a polite smile. They were technically rivals, being from different labels, but kindness never killed anyone, and it felt like the right thing to do. There were four of them - Michimiya Yui, their guitarist and backup singer with very short hair and huge brown eyes, who gave her a sweet smile back and a wave. Their bassist, Aihara Mao, sat by her side, with her dirty-blonde hair pulled back in a high ponytail. She offered Alisa a smile back as well, although not as enthusiastic. Their drummer, Tanaka Saeko, had cropped blonde hair and multiple piercings in her ears. What she offered Alisa seemed more like a smirk than a smile, but she’d take it. Their main singer, however, was a completely different thing. 

Kageyama Miwa had a reputation that preceded her. She had an attitude in every interview, a short temper, and hated being compared to her brother. She would curse and raise her voice, and she was never afraid of calling anyone out, whether it was reporters or other artists who bad-mouthed her and her band.

Miwa was a PR manager’s nightmare. 

When her and Alisa’s eyes met, she looked her up and down, and sneered before turning back to her phone. Alisa frowned and gulped. She knew Miwa was not someone easy to deal with, but she had never done anything to her. She wasn’t sure why she should be at the end of such a reaction. 

When they got called to do the shoot and interview section, Michimiya held Alisa’s arm gently, talking to her while the rest of the band got a little ahead.

“Don’t worry about it,” Michimiya said, a calming smile on her lips, “Miwa doesn’t like anyone.”

It didn’t make Alisa feel any better.

The interview in itself ran easy and fluid. They all got interviewed separately while the rest got taken pictures of. 

Alisa tried to not be nosy, and mind her own business, but really she couldn’t not listen when Miwa talked.

See, the thing about Kageyama Miwa was that even though she was hard to manage and impossible to control, there was still something fascinating about her. She pulled people in, whether they wanted or not, with her velvet voice and passionate words. It was a magic that embedded itself into her songs and came out every time she spoke.

Alisa smiled at the cameras, trying not to seem too absorbed in the conversation between Miwa and the reporter that was happening right behind her head. Alisa breathed in and out, letting the words flow through her. She listened carefully as Miwa talked about the importance of taking a stand, of defending what you believe was right, of not letting people walk over you with their convictions or what they believed it was best for you and how female anger was misinterpreted and villainized by the media. It was enchanting, to say the least, and so different from what Alisa was used to and how she was raised —in the face of being graceful, beautiful, angelic, perfect.

It was freeing to listen to Miwa’s words. Inspirational, even.

When Alisa’s turn came, she took a deep breath, and for the first time in ages, she answered the questions with honesty in mind, instead of perfection.

Alisa talked about being compared to Lev and the pains of being an older sister. She talked about the differences between being a single act singer, instead of having the support of a band. She talked about kindness, and the importance of doing it because you want to and not so people will perceive you as kind, and about the opposite —about people who act tough in front of a camera to create an image. Lower expectations, so you don’t have to bother with them later on. She talked about loving women, for who they are and what they can be, instead of a projected image in a misogynist society. 

Alisa didn’t notice Miwa’s look, eating her and her words up, as she talked. 

After they had taken all the final pictures, they got moved back to the hair and makeup station. Once again, Alisa felt a light tug on her arm and turned to find the soft smile of the GRLZ guitarist.

“Well, maybe I was wrong,” Michimiya said, and Alisa looked at her confused. The other girls simply shook her head and squished her hand with a smile, before stepping away, so the hairdresser could undo Alisa’s hair. 

Not long later, she was getting ready to leave the set when a voice interrupted her.

“Hey, Haiba,” Alisa turned around to find Miwa staring at her with the same teasing smirk she had on her face all afternoon. “You’re pretty cool.” 

Alisa blushed, and felt like maybe that destroyed the whole ‘cool image’ thing that she might have going on for her, but it didn’t matter. She gave Miwa her special smile — the bright, sweet like bubblegum, pretty girl smile she used in interviews and photoshoots. 

“Thanks, Miwa. You’re not bad yourself.” She said and left before the other girl could say anything else.

_ She says I smell like safety and home, I named both of her eyes forever and please don't go. _

_ I could be a morning sunrise all the time. This could be good, this could be good _

She keeps me warm - Mary Lambert

Miwa would be lying if she had said that Alisa hadn’t piqued her interest. In fact, she had caught herself lingering over the pop singer’s social media accounts more often than she would have liked to admit. Her finger had hovered over the follow button, but she’d stopped herself before pressing it every time - until Mao threatened to follow and dm Alisa on her behalf, then Miwa stopped looking at her Instagram altogether (the pictures lingered in her mind for days though, filled with light colours and flowy skirts and other things Miwa would never be caught dead wearing).

Regardless of her resistance to admit her interest, the universe had other plans. Call it what you will - destiny, fate or her bored bandmates that just wanted to see the end of Miwa’s useless pining at once.

And so, that’s how Miwa found herself facing Haiba Alisa for the second time just two weeks after their first meeting. Only this time, they were in the middle of a concert crowd.

Miwa had been dragged by Saeko, who had been dragged by her brother Ryūnosuke. Alisa had come to accompany Yamamoto Akane. On stage, the band ‘Second Chances’ —formed by Fukunaga Shouhei and Yamamoto Taketora, Akane’s older brother and Ryūnosuke’s close friend—played their new songs with all they had. 

Alisa looked as beautiful as the first time they met, although different. She had almost no makeup on, with her hair up and was wearing much more comfortable and toned down clothes. She looked casual, natural, comfortable in her skin. Miwa was having some difficulty catching her breath, but she would much rather blame the smoke used for special effects. 

She did end up gathering enough courage to ask Alisa if she wanted something to drink (after Saeko elbowed her so hard on the ribs Miwa lost her breath for sure, but those were mere details), and in return, Alisa actually volunteered to go to the bar in the back with her. 

“I’m not too used to crows like this,” she explained, laughing a little, and Miwa just nodded. She knew she must look aloof, but really, crowds had just always been a part of her. She liked the mess, she liked not being recognized, she liked having a place where she could yell and let it all out. Crowds in shows had been her paradise before she had the opportunity to be up on a stage. 

They ended up hanging out together at the bar, talking about the different bands on the rise from both of their labels and a few others that had been making a name in the Japanese music scene. With drinks in their hands, music in the background, and the more than pleasant conversation, the night passed smoothly and almost too quickly. They both blinked, slightly surprised when they realized that the show had come to an end. Miwa smiled at Alisa politely, before fishing the phone and texting Saeko, asking where they were. When the reply came, minutes later, she huffed at her phone.

“Is everything ok?” Alisa asked, perfectly made eyebrows bunching together in worry. Miwa nodded, to assure her, but sighed before explaining.

“Apparently they went backstage before the show ended, and then everyone just decided to go out for sushi and drinks. Bitch didn’t even wait for us,” she muttered annoyed and Alisa shookher head, before giggling.

“Honestly, I’m not too surprised. Tora can be quite impulsive, and he doesn’t tone it down exactly when he’s around Tanaka. If anything, I think it gets more intense,” she said, still smiling. “But it does suck that they just left us. I didn’t even want to go out, I’m way too tired, but still... They could have waited for us,” Alisa added with a sigh. 

“Yeah, I’ll kick Saeko’s ass in the morning for doing that to us, don’t worry,” Miwa half-joked, smirking. She hesitated for a second, biting her lip, before talking again. “Do you… Do you want to share a cab? I can drop you off and then go home…” Miwa offered and Alisa looked at her, surprised but seemingly happy.

“Oh, can we get the train, instead? I haven’t taken one in so long…I kinda miss getting public transport sometimes,” she chuckled. “I don’t know, it’s such a small, mundane thing but… It makes me feel more like a person sometimes, to do normal things,” she explained before immediately looking down in embarrassment. “I mean, obviously we don’t have to if you don’t want to, or if there are no stations near your house…”

“Alisa,” Miwa interrupted her, smirking at how flustered the girls seemed to be. “It’s fine. We can get the train, it works for me. C’mon, let’s go!” she said, pointing with her head to the exit. Alisa smiled at her sweetly, before leading the way. As she followed her, Miwa kept her eyes on the ground, holding back a smile. She was pretty sure she had never seen someone so excited to get public transportation. It was kind of adorable if she was being honest.

They made their way to the closest train station, walking through the night, surrounded by neon light and slightly drunk and overexcited people. It was a bit cold, but they walked close together, shoulders almost touching and that, together with the good company and the sweet blanket of anonymity, was enough to warm them up.

They didn’t have to wait much to get their train, and luckily for them, they actually got the same line. And so, that was where they found themselves only 30 minutes after they left the show - inside the train, with Alisa sitting down and Miwa standing up in front of her.

“Why don’t you sit with me?” Alisa asked, head falling slightly to the side. 

“If I do, I might fall asleep,” Miwa said, chuckling a bit. Her head felt heavy, and she let it fall against the arm she was using to hold up on the metal bars. With GRLZ being in the process of recording their new album, she couldn’t really remember the last time she slept more than four hours consecutively. She was just always in the studio, working on new songs and then recording, and if she wasn’t there she was most likely doing something for PR. 

In the end, people could say whatever they wanted about Miwa, but no one could deny her love for music and how dedicated she was to it. Music had been Miwa’s scape and fresh air since she was a child, and one could see her passion for it written all over her face, her voice and how her eyes shone brighter when she talked about it. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her music.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Alisa asked her, and Miwa grunted, head pending against her own strained bicep as she tried to hold on and maintain her balance. “Sit down, I’ll let you know when we get there,” the singer told her, and Miwa opened one eye to peek at her. 

Alisa was just there, staring at her, candid and open as always. Miwa took a deep breath. ‘This is a bad idea’, she thought. But truth be said, what was the fun of life without a bad idea here and there. So she obliged and sat by Alisa’s side, and it didn’t seem that bad of an idea until Alisa touched her face and softly pushed Miwa’s head down until it was resting on her shoulder. Miwa was pretty sure that if she moved, if she so dared to even breathe, she might implode.

As small as it was, it was still an intimate act, warm in a way that Miwa hadn’t known in a while. It was not that she wasn’t close with her friends and bandmates, but it was different. Touching them never felt like that, it was never with a similar intention as this one.

The girl meant freedom. It meant being seen.

Alisa made her feel like she was being taken care of. 

Miwa hesitated, but she ended up letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding all night (since she had seen Alisa standing in front of her) and allowed herself to close her eyes and bury her head on the crook in between the girl's shoulder and neck. It was better like this, as if she blushed, then at least it was good that no one could see her face. 

Much later, after a fresh shower and under the covers, Miwa peeked at her phone and typed Alisa’s name on the Instagram search bar. She hit the follow button.

When she woke up the next morning (almost afternoon), it was to the notification that Alisa followed her back.

_ I'm losing my mind, I swore it wouldn't happen this time. But if love makes you stupid, you're making me the biggest fool you'll ever find _

_ So make me yours from this day forward and I'll grow to be somebody you deserve. _

Elise - The greeting committee

After that, their friendship developed naturally. They exchanged songs and dumb jokes through messages, and sometimes they’d call too. Alisa got used to doing her make-up in the morning while listening to Miwa’s softly strumming her guitar on the other side of a call, and more often than not if Miwa texted Alisa complaining that she was working late in the studio then Alisa would get food and coffee delivered for her. It developed naturally. 

Their interview and photoshoot with WBB magazine finally got published, and it quickly went viral. After nervously debating with herself for almost an hour if it would be weird or not, Alisa had texted Miwa telling her she looked gorgeous in one of the pictures. Miwa had quickly replied, thanking her and saying she had a great time reading Alisa’s interview. 

Japanese society, however, had been much less enthusiastic and not exactly happy with Alisa’s words. More specifically, tabloids were quick to attack her, calling her fake and trying too hard and other more than unkind names. There were things said about her brother, and her body, and her voice. There were many articles asking if she really belonged in the shoot, considering she wasn’t fully Japanese or even born there. 

There were many, many attacks on her sexuality.

It blew over in her face, and Alisa ended up secluding herself from everything, anxiety, fear and anger eating her alive. For the first time in over two decades of life, she lost her composure.

No one quite knew how to react. With the exception of one visit from Nekomata, Lev was the only one that was allowed in her house, and only because he had a key, so there was really no way to barrier him out. He made sure Alisa ate, showered and drank enough water, and tried to make sure she was not getting anywhere near the internet. But in the end, that was all he could do. Lev had no idea how to react, how to take care of her. He was the younger brother, he had never been the one in this position before, but it was up to him to check in on her, cause Alisa wouldn’t let anyone else in.

Until three days later, when Miwa knocked at her door.

“I know you’re in there Haiba, open up,” She yelled, knocking a bit harder. It took a few moments for Alisa to open the door, just a bit - just a crack where an eye free of make-up, puffy and red-rimmed stared at the unexpected visitor. “Oh hey, you’re alive!” Miwa said, a smirk that was almost a smile on her face. “Open up,” she repeated, already forcing her foot through the crack so Alisa couldn’t close the door on her face. Alisa sighed but ended up opening the door and letting her in.

“What are you doing here, Miwa,” she asked, tired and Miwa turned around to her smiling and letting down a couple of bags filled with different snacks.

“It has come to my attention that you’re facing a strong wave of bullshit, I mean, backlash, for the first time in your career. Am I right?” She asked, and Alisa sighed trying not to cry when remembering the words that had been said and written about her in the past few days. She nodded, instead, not trusting her own voice to not crack and fail on her. “Well, in case you haven’t heard, I’m a bit of a specialist on it myself so...Thought I might come by, get some food in and some tears out. Talk about how stupid it is and all of that good stuff.” She said, before looking up, her face softer than before. “Cause I’m used to it now, but I do remember how much it hurt the first times around.”

Alisa stood there, filled with gratefulness for Miwa and her words and her presence. She felt tears prickling her eyes again, and lowered her head to hide them away. Seconds after, she felt a small and warm hand delicately touching the back of her neck, lifting her head up.

“Alisa,” Miwa whispered. “Look at me.” And Alisa did. 

She really tried to hold back the tears, but she couldn’t - however, for the first time in days, she cried not out of sadness or anger at herself and the world, but out of happiness. Because the scene in front of her made her feel loved and cared for in ways she never expected. This was Kageyama Miwa, queen of bitter words with a sharp tongue, making herself into someone softer and more understanding, so she could be there for Alisa in the way that she needed. This was her trying to become a better, softer person for someone she cared about. So Alisa wanted to be honest, and try to become better and more confident in herself as well. For herself, and for Miwa.

Alisa let her head fall against Miwa’s shoulder, allowing the tears to roll down her face. She felt lighter than she had all week. Miwa pressed a kiss to her hair, running her fingers through the soft blonde locks. It was different from everything she had ever done, but she liked it. 

“Shh, I got you,” Miwa whispered against her hair, again and again, and Alisa let her smooth voice and soft words wash over her, driving the fear and anxiety crawling under skin away. 

_ All the pretty girls in the world, but I'm in this space with you _

_ Coloured out the lines, I came to find, my fire was fate with you _

Honey - Kehlani

Award season rolled around, and if there was a thin line of rivalry in between Nekoma Records and Karasuno Music, it had been completely forgotten. Members of different bands had been hanging out, proposing future music collabs as well as simply helping each other out with writing songs and planning next steps for different albums. Fans went insane, happy for the closeness of the different productions, and the history behind the companies itself. It came to the point rumours started going around regarding a possible documentary on Nekomata and Ukai sr. and their time together as best friends and band rivals. All in all, it had been a better promotion than any possible fake drama fabricated by gossip websites could have been. 

GRLZ started releasing songs for their third album, earning a nomination for both best girl band of the year and best rock band. Fly High released their second a month after, receiving a nomination as well for both their band and album. 

Alisa dropped two new singles and a video clip. Her name was considered one of the strongest, on the run for the best female singer. Three Black Cats were also on the run for the best rock band and best album of the year.

All in all, stakes and competitions were high, the underlying tension and excitement for the show surrounding them all. Regardless, friendships and bonds made under the pressure of the music industry were stronger. 

And so, that was how Alisa found herself at Miwa’s place, surrounded by other girls, and getting her makeup done. 

The invitation had raised some surprise from her. Award shows usually meant fancy makeup and hairstyles that took too long and dresses that were uncomfortable to sit and breath in. The idea of simply sitting around and letting her friends, instead of professionals, do her make up was shocking, to say the least. 

When Alisa questioned, Michimiya simply giggled at her nervousness with the whole idea.

“Well,” she said, “of course a standard Makeup artist and hairstylist would be more usual for events like these. But it’s just so much more fun when us girls get together and do it ourselves, you know? It’s like a sleepover before a birthday party, you know? Like when we were 12.” She explained, chuckling. 

Alisa smiled, but she didn’t know. She didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, being either left out for being the strange, new girl or unconsciously excluding herself on purpose, too focused on auditions, on the future, on her music, to try to interact and bond with her peers. But she nodded and said she’ll gladly be there anyway.

Miwa smirked, watching from Michimiya’s side. If she noticed her anxiety and fidgety fingers, she didn’t say. 

And so she showed up, with Akane on one arm and a bag of drinks on the other. Her chest was filled with bubbles, and she couldn’t exactly pin if they were from excitement or pure anxiety, but she was there. Alisa was doing this. She was hanging out with friends, multiple girl friends that were also her competition, before an award show. 

Miwa had, in all honesty, not expected Alisa to say yes. That was not to say that she wasn’t extremely pleased to see her knock at her door.

“Well, hello there,” Miwa said, with a smirk before opening her arm and gesturing to the apartment. “Please come in, welcome to my humble place,” she welcomed them in. Akane left out a low whistle entering the large studio apartment and chuckled.

“There’s nothing humble about this at all,” she joked, and Alisa pinched her arm, eyebrows scrunched up. Akane showed her tongue at her, but Miwa just laughed.

“Yeah, you know how it is,” She said, vaguely. Miwa didn’t really enjoy talking about technicalities such as money and how she was able to afford a place like hers. Memories from the start of her career filled her mind - all the rumours and sharp tongues quick to point out her grandfather's legacy in the music industry, how she and Tobio only got their careers thanks to his money and influence - it never failed to leave a bitter taste in her mouth. “Anyway, everyone is already here, come in, come in.” She said, changing subjects and urging them. 

If Alisa noticed something in her eyes and her light anxiety, she didn't say anything.

When Miwa said ‘everyone’, she meant it. Shimizu was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, painting Michimiya’s nails delicately while commenting about Daichi and Sugawara’s obliviousness to each other.

“They keep showing these lyrics that are all about yearning for your best friend and I just… how do either of you not realize you’re writing about each other?” Shimizu muttered under her breath. Michimiya giggled.

“I can’t believe how bad Daichi still is at dealing with his feelings,” she murmured “And you’re just there, in the middle of both of your exes, watching them be in love with each other.” 

“Well, you dated Daichi too, you know how he is,” Shimizu said with a sigh. “If only Asahi was still there, I’d have someone to suffer with me...” she continued, before tapping Michimiya’s tight, to indicate she was done with that hand.

“Why don’t you text him?” Michimiya asked, extending her other hand, and Shimizu shrugged.

“He has the whole ‘new career’ going on, I don’t want to bother him or anything like that,” she explained softly, and Michimiya smiled, an eyebrow slightly raised as she watched the other girl.

“You never bother anyone, Shimizu,” she said, eyes glued to the parts where her skin touched Shimizus’. “I think anyone would be happy to hear from you. I know I would,” Shimizu smiled at her, a light blush on her face, before focusing on her nails again.

Besides them, Saeko and Aihara were discussing loudly about what they should do with Yachi’s hair, the smaller girl watching them with her eyes slightly bulged out in fear and anxiety. Miwa would have been worried if it wasn’t for the fact that she was slightly convinced that that was simply Yachi’s natural expression. She had seen on her face far too often for it to represent real fear. 

Akane had quickly been pulled into the mess, sitting beside Yachi with a much more daring and exciting look on her face. Alisa giggled, watching them side by side. She turned to Miwa, who was also watching them with the typical smirk on her face. 

“Well... And where should I go?” she asked. Miwa looked her up and down, her eyes dragging from the tip of her toes up to staring right into her eyes again. Alisa pressed her lips together, trying to ignore the shiver running down her spine. 

“You already know what you want to do with your hair?” she asked, and Alisa nodded.

“I’m keeping it simple. Just a half up, half down.” Miwa nodded.

“And you brought your dress?” Alisa nodded again, before gesturing to the bag she had bought. Miwa took a look inside, accessing the different shades of silver and navy blue.

“Very well,” she muttered, before looking up and smiling. “You, my dear, are coming with me. I’m doing your makeup.” she declared, and Alisa gulped, before smiling and agreeing.

Miwa had done plenty of makeup in her lifetime. She enjoyed it, finding perfect shades, blending them together, seeing how she could better highlight specific features of another person's face or hide them completely. If music had not been the thing that took over her heart, then maybe she would have followed a career on it. She wouldn’t have minded.

Another thing that Miwa enjoyed about doing people’s makeup was that it was the perfect excuse to simply watch them, as closely as possible, without being weird. 

It was not like she hadn’t seen Alisa’s face up close before. There were close shots of her face in multiple advertisements, and they had been in a situation before where they had found themselves very close, bodies pressed together in a show crowd, or heads resting on each other’s shoulders. This was different, however. Seeing Alisa with no makeup, relaxed and laying down on her sofa, eyes closed and just relaxing - it made things different. Seeing her unwind, without being tense or worried about being perfect, it was a rare vision, something for those who held the privilege of knowing Alisa the person, and not Alisa the singer. It created a flutter inside Miwa’s stomach that she did her best to ignore.

She wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but in the end, she ended up sitting on Alisa’s lap, delicately applying the products to her face, making sure to highlight the high cheekbones and use colours that brought attention to how bright Alisa’s eyes were. She lost track of time, going over the smooth skin, and then applying the lipstick. When she wasfinally done, Alisa opened her eyes, blinking slowly at Miwa. 

Miwa looked back.

She was still on top of her, and not moving, and the air felt charged and heavy. Miwa gulped, and Alisa blinked again. She opened her mouth and-

“Alisa,” Akane interrupted, standing awkwardly a few feet away from them. Her makeup was done, clearly made by Aihara, with bold gold eyeliner and black eyeshadow “We need to get dressed. Tora texted, and he will be out in 30 minutes to pick us up.”

“Oh,” Alisa said, and quickly tried to sit up, almost knocking Miwa on the process. Miwa chuckled, awkwardly standing up and picking up a mirror, before showing her reflection.

“Go, say what you think, so I can fix anything before you get dressed and leave.” She said, before putting the rest of the makeup away. Alisa stared at her own reflection for a few seconds, before turning to Miwa with the brightest smile on her face.

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much Miwa,” she said, to which the other girl simply shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m serious. You’re very talented.” she added, and Miwa smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“So I’ve heard. Now stop staring at me, go get dressed” she said, shooing the girl, and turning around to the rest of her friends. Saeko was staring at her, a smile filled with mockery and knowledge on her face.

“Shut up,” Miwa said, rolling her eyes. “Now sit your ass here, so I can start on your makeup,” she ordered, and Saeko solemnly obeyed, although the smirk didn’t go anywhere.

Alisa left the bathroom a while after, completely dressed with her hair ready. She did a little spin, showing her full look to the rest of the girls, and they clapped, whistling some. Alisa laughed, like a child, half embarrassed and half thrilled, feeling so good in her skin and covered in the warmth of being appreciated by her peers. She turned to Miwa, thanking her profusely once again, to which Miwa simply rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know, I’m very talented, you’re very welcome.”

Alisa giggled at her, the same bubbly laugh that Miwa didn’t really think was humanly possible for someone to have. She sounded like an angel that got lost on the way back and decided to roam the earth, blessing people with her voice and kindness. Miwa didn’t even notice, but she had been openly smiling at the other girl, watching her. Alisa blinked and stared back, breaking the illusion that this was just a one-way mirror, the view of a painting, but a real-life interaction with another human. Miwa shook her head, focusing back on reality, and blinked at Alisa, faking confusion. 

“What?” she asked, and Alisa laughed again, giving her that damned smile.

“You have one of the prettiest smiles I’ve ever seen, Miwa,” Miwa could feel her face getting warm and red. She had always been easy to blush, much like her brother, and she hated it. 

“Shut up,” She said, looking away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Alisa only giggled again, and Miwa had to bite her lip to hold herself back from smiling.

She could hear Saeko cursing somewhere behind her, mumbling nonsense about oblivious idiots, but before she could say anything, Akane was already talking loudly on the phone, informing them that her brother was waiting for them downstairs. The girls said goodbye, promising to see each other later on at the awards show and wishing each other good luck. 

Miwa watched Alisa smile at her one more time, her skin smooth and covered in the best colours, all chosen and applied by Miwa herself. She spent the next few hours trying to forget the feeling of Alisa’s body under hers, and the next week trying to not think about the way Alisa smiled at her, calling her pretty. 

_ I will follow you home, although my lips are blue and I'm cold _

_ I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips. _

_ I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath _

I wanna be your girlfriend - Girl In Red

Throughout her whole life, Alisa had rarely watched music shows from the crowd. She had always been backstage, thanks to her parents, or on the stage itself, and she had always considered it to be a privilege and the best places to be when it came to it.

But as she stood in the middle of the crowd for the first time, surrounded by bodies filled with excitement, she couldn’t help but wonder how she could have missed that. The buzzing feeling that was just inside the crowd, surrounding all of them like a deep mist made of eagerness and anticipation for what was about to come. The girls next to her had special makeup, GRLZ written on their foreheads and chest, and wore outfits that clearly imitated Saeko’s and Miwa’s typical style. The guy on her left was wearing a shirt from their official merch, already hoarse from yelling before the show even started. Alisa giggled and the security guard near her looked at her again, to check if there was anything wrong. She shook her head slightly, to indicate that she was fine and just having fun, and he nodded before turning back to the stage. It was not like it was a secret she was there in the middle, Miwa knew she was here and that was why she was able to get a place so close to the stage, almost pressed against the metal bars, with a security guard right next to her to make sure she was able to get out fine and safe. But, if truth be told, Alisa was glad that no one recognized her, or that if they did, they didn't say anything. Tonight, she wanted to forget her own fame and song lyrics. Alisa wanted to forget herself for the night, and allow herself to be swallowed whole by GRLZ angry and electrifying energy, with blunt lyrics and aggressive instrumental. Tonight, it was about admiring her friends’ talent - one in particular.

Everything went dark and the crowd screamed louder than ever before. Not even Alisa could help, yelling a little, caught in the excitement. The bass began to play and then the drums, and suddenly the spotlights turned on, bright and strong, right on their face, and Miwa’s voice, smooth like velvet, took over.

“Hello again, dear old friend…” She sang, eyes looking straight forward, hands around the mic and a smirk on her lips. She looked like magic, enchanting as always. Alisa felt her breath get caught on her throat for a second before shaking her head. The whole band looked truly incredible. There was something about them that made it impossible to look away, to not want to listen to their music and learn everything about them. 

Sure, Alisa actually knew them in real life and had actually seen them only a few hours ago, but those facts were irrelevant at that moment, they didn’t interfere or break the spell at all. There was something different about them, watching them from this angle. They looked like Gods, like something out of this world. Alisa felt like she was running a fever, too warm and slightly dizzy, her fingers tingling as she threw her arms up and head back, singing along. Alisa honestly thought she would disappear into such a large crowd, becoming a simple silver-headed dot for the band members, but she should know that Miwa would always surprise her. Multiple times throughout the show, she would find her eyes and wink, or make a funny face and then go back to the rest of the crowd, never interrupting the flow of the music. It felt good, knowing that Miwa could see her too, and how in awe of her Alisa was. 

The show went on for almost two hours, but Alisa barely felt it, completely caught up in the music. She was as shocked and slightly disappointed as everyone else when Michimiya announced their closing song.

“Ok, everyone, to close it off-” She was interrupted by the crowd making an ‘awww’ sound and laughed a little. “I know, I know! Believe me, if our fingers and vocal cords allowed, we would be here all night long, there’s nothing that we love more than being here with you guys!” She said smiling, and the fans yelled again. “But to close it off, we have a new song! Right, Miwa?” The singer nodded, before taking over.

“Alright. Our final song is from our new album that is going to be released next month! It holds a lot of sentimental value to me- Saeko if you say something, I can and will murder you,” She said, immediately pointing to the drums, without looking. On-demand, Saeko started laughing, as she really was ready to say something, and the rest of the band joined them. Miwa chuckled a little and if one was looking closely, they’d be able to spot a faint blush covering her face under the almost melted make up. “Anyway, this song is really important to me, and it’s for a… A friend. A really, really good friend.” Miwa said, hesitant, and the whole band was actually laughing, and the crowd chuckled a little as well, being able to pick up on the cues and awkwardness of her introduction. Alisa blinked, filled with curiosity as Miwa continued. “And anyway, I hope they like it. Yep, that’s it, I’m done, Aihara let’s go!” She said, stepping back and everyone laughed once more until Aihara started playing again and the focus fell back into the music. 

The song was amazing. The lyrics were incredible, the instruments were perfect and the build-up for the chorus made Alisa want to jump and dance already. She stared at her new found friends on the stage, waiting for it, for the big centre of the song to come. Not for the first time that night, Miwa’s eyes found hers - always pulling each other, moving in each other directions, getting closer - and with her eyes still burning into Alisa’s she sang her heart out.

_ “So when are you gonna figure it out?  _

_ Come closer, kiss me in the mouth _

_ I’m tired of hugs and glances _

_ of you calling me your friend _

_ I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss your lips _

_ I want to kiss till we’re both out of breath” _

Alisa blinked, once and then again. Her skin suddenly felt too warm, and if her cheeks weren’t red before, from the extortion of dancing, then they surely were red now. She was not sure if the song was about her, she was afraid to think it was. 

She was even more afraid of how badly she wanted it to be about her. How much she wanted to comply with the lyrics, press her lips against Miwa’s, again and again, tasting the lingering cigarettes and getting stained with lipstick. Alisa swallowed dry, filled with desire and anxiety, and as the last chords of the song played, she didn't look anywhere else but Miwa. 

The show ended, and GRLZ were rushed out of the stage and probably directly to their van in order to avoid paparazzi, and the crowd slowly started making their way out, still buzzing from the show. Alisa allowed the security guard to guide her to the side of the concert hall, where her car was waiting for her. She couldn’t help but run the song lyrics over her mind and overthink if it was about her or not.

Miwa knew she was gonna be there, and so she obviously knew that Alisa would listen to it. These could all be seen as proofs that the song was about her, not to mention the band's reaction, but at the same time, that didn’t mean anything. It could be about anyone else.

It could also be a big joke on her. Maybe Alisa’s attraction had been more obvious than she thought, maybe they simply thought it would be funny to call attention to this stupid, huge crush that Alisa had. But Miwa wouldn’t do that, right? She wouldn’t be cruel like that. Despite what every magazine said about her, the Miwa that Alisa got to know was kind to her friends, undeniably blunt but never mean about it. It would make no sense for it to be an evil prank, it was just probably just Alisa’s anxiety and mean thoughts getting the best of her, again. Years in the eye of the media and interacting with other celebrities that saw you not for who you were but for your money and name would do that to you. 

She shook her head, trying to calm down and erase the thoughts from her head. Maybe it was about her, maybe it wasn’t. Regardless of it, Alisa was going to figure it out. The reaction, from the thought of kissing Miwa, alone was more than enough to snap her into realization - she no longer wanted to be Miwa’s friend. She wanted to be much more. 

_ Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer. _

_ Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer. _

Closer - Tegan and Sara

A whole week and a half go by before Alisa and Miwa see each other again. In all honesty, Alisa expected things to be tense. Awkward, in the least. Every single time she tried to come up and imagine how it would be like to see Miwa again, after what could practically be considered a public confession, all Alisa could think of was deep tension. The kind that you could cut the air with. 

Which was why Alisa was confused, to say the least, when she arrived at the apartment Miwa shared with Saeko for their monthly ‘movie night’, and Miwa received her with a smile on her face as if nothing happened, seemingly more excited over the pizza’s on Alisa’s arms than Alisa itself.

The living room was filled with the rest of the members from GRLZ, as well as a few other people signed under Karasuno Music, such as the younger Kageyama, Yachi and their vocalist, and some others Alisa didn’t really know too well.

Not short after her arrival, someone turned on the projector and the classical music of a famous American franchise filled up the wall, and everyone slowly settled down on the floor, paying attention to the subtitles. Miwa and Alisa sat together, side by side - Always side by side, pressed against each other. Miwa’s perfume was all that Alisa could smell, despite the pizza, the popcorn and the snacks being passed around, and whenever they touched skin to skin Alisa felt this shock go through her. She felt like she was suffocating. 

Something happened on the screen, she was not really sure what because she was too distracted by Miwa’s laugh, but whatever it was, it made Miwa’s jump a little and place her hand on Alisa’s upper tight, squeezing it. It was the final drop - Alisa immediately jumping and standing up. Miwa looked at her, black shiny wild eyes as if Alisa was a dog, and she accidentally stepped on her tail.

“Thirsty,” Alisa managed to lie. “I’m going to get myself some water. Do you want something?” She asked, because it was the polite thing to do, and she had been raised to be polite first and human second. Miwa shook her head negatively, slowly, and Alisa gulped before leaving.

She was in the middle of pouring herself a second glass of water because she drank the first one too quickly and wasn’t ready to go back yet when Michimiya entered the room.

“Hey there,” she greeted, smiling sweetly. Alisa smiled back, trying to relax her shoulders.

“Hi,” She smiled. “How are you?” Alisa asked and Michimiya shrugged.

“Same old. Glad to finally have a break from touring for the next two weeks before we’re back on the road.” She said and Alisa nodded, blushing a little as the memories of the show flooded her mind. “You know, she’s kinda waiting for you to make a move,” Michimiya said, and Alisa’s eyes snapped up to her. Michimiya was smiling at her, the same soft but knowing smile she had when they met. “She’s acting all cool and like nothing happened because she’s afraid she overdid it, and you’re rejecting her…. But I don’t think that’s quite true, is it?” she asked, and Alisa gulped before slowly shaking her head.

“I’m just...nervous. I think. I wasn’t sure if she meant it or if it was just a big joke,” She confessed and Michimiya frowned. 

“Miwa would never think of doing something cruel like that. She’s a handful, sure, but she wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. You know that, right?” Alisa smiled at her, relief filling her chest, accompanied by a tingle of excitement for what her next steps might be. 

“Yeah, I do,” She told her, before finishing her water and going back to the living room. She sat beside Miwa like she was before, and Miwa rested her head on her shoulder, filling Alisa’s lungs with the smell of her shampoo - Alisa took a deeper breath. 

The movie night ended and people slowly started to disperse, sitting in parallel conversations. Miwa asked Alisa if she was going home, but the girl smiled and shook her head.

“I was thinking we could hang out?” she asked, and it was Miwa’s turn to smile, but nod, and lead her to her room. They sat facing each other on the comfy Fulton that Miwa had lodged in her bedroom, listening to music and making small talk about the movie they had just watched. Miwa was in the middle of googling one of the actors, the tip of her tongue poking out between her lips as she scrunched her nose in concentration, when Alisa thought that she couldn’t handle it any more, couldn’t wait any other second.

“Hey, Miwa?” Alisa asked, poking Miwa’s legs with her knee. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Miwa choked on air, coughing for a whole minute before looking up completely speechless. Alisa raised an eyebrow - it was a mockery imitation of Miwa’s iconic move that was not missed by the punk singer. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Alisa asked, with a smirk.

“Oh, you little shit,” Miwa said, but she was already halfway there, moving up, stranding Alisa and crashing their lips together.

Kissing Miwa was the best feeling Alisa had ever felt. It was like flying and coming home at the same time. It was hearing the perfect accord for a song you’ve written, it was listening to your favourite song over and over again without ever getting sick of it. It was the feeling when she buried her feet in the sand for the first time, and the way she missed the bone-deep cold of Russia sometimes. It was the smell of her favourite food, and the thrill she’d get going down her spine whenever she performed a song she had put all of her. 

She kissed Miwa again, and again, and if she could, she would do it forever - no pauses for water or bathroom breaks. She wanted this feeling of her warm lips and soft hands to be stuck on her, under her skin, constantly and eternally. 

However, as real life happened despite feelings and wants of young women in love, they got interrupted by Saeko, who gasped, poking her head inside the room.

"About time wasn't it?” She asked, laughing, and Miwa yelled at her to fuck off and close the door, before turning back to Alisa, her face a light tone of pink, and breath slightly ragged.

Alisa smiled, feeling something that had been described for centuries in songs as the cliché ‘butterflies in her stomachs’. Silently, she thought that Saeko was right - It was about time. But she had no time to laugh, or agree or say anything. She was too busy dipping her head and kissing Miwa again, not planning on stopping any time soon. There were a lot of unsaid confessions and time to make up for, and they both had been waiting for it for too long.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaah finally a wlw fic!!!  
> I hope you enjoyed this, I had lots of fun writing it and choosing the songs (all by wlw artists) and coming up with a scene to match each one!  
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading this! If you'd like to see me yelling about yearning, Kuroo and confessions you can always find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ffskuroo)!!


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